Are You Concerned About Your Child’s Mental Health?
Is your child experiencing behavioral setbacks or delays? Have recent changes caused your child to develop symptoms of depression or anxiety? Do they engage in self-deprecating behavior or demonstrate a lack of self-confidence?
Though resilient, kids tend to be hyper-aware of and sensitive to change. Whether they are going through a transitional period, or your family has experienced a significant life change—including divorce, a relocation, or the illness/death of a loved one—your child is likely having trouble processing certain pains and emotions.
As a result, they may exhibit worrisome behaviors that disrupt their relationships and daily functioning. Unable to withstand uncomfortable emotions, they may shut down, lash out, or have trouble regulating their response when distressed. And you may be concerned that if you don’t address these symptoms now, they might escalate into something more serious.
Depending on their age, you may have noticed that your child is experiencing developmental delays. Perhaps your child is younger and having trouble with bedtime or impulse control. Or maybe they’re an adolescent or teen who is having difficulties in school or with their peers. Children of any age can struggle with symptoms of anxiety and depression, such as irritability, social isolation, and withdrawing from activities they once enjoyed. And you may be worried that your child lacks effective coping and emotional regulation skills
You May Feel Like You’ve Done Everything You Can To Facilitate Positive Change In Your Child’s Behaviors
As parents, we suffer when our children suffer. Frustrated by not being able to “fix” the problem, we may inadvertently make the problem worse.
It’s possible that you have grown exhausted by failed attempts to help improve your child’s conduct, or that your child’s behaviors have put tremendous strain on your relationship. Consequently, you may be approaching your child’s emotional response with a need to find a solution—rather than a sense of curiosity and understanding that will allow them to feel seen and adjust their stress response.
But counseling can help improve the communication and relationship between you and your child. By working with a therapist, your child can receive outside perspective and skilled guidance as they explore their emotions, build resilience, and develop skills for coping.
Raising Children Into Healthy Adults Is Hard And Tireless Work
When it comes to raising kids, we’re all doing our best. After all, none of us were given a manual and most of us aren’t trained in child development. Instead, we tend to raise our children by adhering to the same parenting styles that our parents used, or by consciously doing the opposite of what was modeled for us.
Furthermore, we maintain a biological inclination to protect our children. So, when difficult transitions occur or mental health issues arise, we may be concerned that our kids aren’t developmentally ready to handle the sometimes painful reality of being an adult. As a result, we shield our children from the truth or sugarcoat complex issues, which sets the stage for how all of the hard conversations go with our children.
More And More Research Is Being Done On The Importance Of Social-Emotional Learning In Child Development
For those of us raising kids now, we grew up in homes where there wasn’t much of an emphasis on the socio-emotional impact of our early experiences. In other words, we’ve only recently become aware of just how essential emotional awareness and regulation are to a child’s long-term success.
We now know from extensive research that Social Emotional Learning, or SEL, is not only beneficial for a child’s emotional and mental well-being but also integral in academic performance and the development of vital cognitive skills. Since increasing numbers of schools have included SEL concepts into their curricula, we’ve seen tremendous improvements in children’s application of social, emotional, cognitive, and behavioral skills across contexts.
But social-emotional learning was not a priority for the generation of parents raising kids today. Instead of engaging with our children’s emotions and trying to locate the source of their distress, we mask painful experiences, which creates a disconnect—between our children and their emotions, and ultimately between our children and ourselves.
Counseling can provide your child with a unique opportunity to learn about their emotions from a therapist who specializes in the development of younger kids, adolescents, and teens. Working with your child, I can help them process their experiences and develop a healthy response in times of distress.
Therapy Paves The Way For Your Child’s Healthy Emotional Expression
If your child’s behaviors are leading to disconnect, conflict, or a rift in your relationship, they have likely internalized the message that they aren’t good enough. That’s why the safe space of therapy can be so valuable for your child. It provides them with a fun, enjoyable atmosphere where there isn’t any pressure or expectation to be a certain way—they are welcome to arrive with whatever issues they choose to explore.
For children of any age, counseling starts with an intake process that involves meeting with you, the caregiver(s), alone to go over presenting issues and the symptoms that your child may be experiencing. From there, your child will be integrated into sessions at a pace that is comfortable for everyone. Depending on their age, I will either schedule phone check-ins with you (for older children and adolescents) or alternate including you in sessions to reinforce parenting skills and techniques (for children six and under).
Therapy is a highly individualized process that honors your child’s strengths and the needs of your family unit as a whole. Depending on the treatment goals for each client, I will incorporate elements of Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT), Internal Family Systems (IFS), Play Therapy, Child-Parent Psychotherapy (CPP), The Safe and Sound Protocol, and parenting coaching. These counseling approaches are meant to instill your child with tools for coping, emotion regulation, and understanding the value of all feelings. I will help you and your child target problematic behaviors and help them develop techniques for self-soothing.
Though your child’s obstacles may feel overwhelming right now, their challenges can be managed in therapy. Your child’s communication will improve as they learn how to respond to distress, manage relationships, and advocate for themselves. And by developing a curiosity for what their emotions convey, you and your child will be able to deepen your connection and understanding of one another.
But You May Be Worried That Your Child Isn’t Ready For Counseling…
I’m concerned that my child won’t open up to you in therapy.
I expect that it might take some time to get your child to trust me—and that is a good thing! It’s important that your child has boundaries around a stranger and knows when it’s safe to become vulnerable.
Part of my approach as a therapist is to match your child’s energy and learn about their interests so that I can foster a secure connection with them. Whether your child expresses themselves through art, play, games, music, or verbal processing, I have a knack for putting a therapeutic spin on fun activities.
If I feel that there is a barrier between your child and me, I will make sure to discuss it with you so that you can decide how to move forward in a way that feels safe and beneficial for your child.
My child is young/has verbalization issues—how will you communicate with them?
Since children use play to communicate, I use play therapy as a tool to foster emotional awareness and communication. And because certain activities are already familiar to children, they can be helpful in deepening communication skills. That said, however, new games and activities can also be useful for kids as they explore new ways to connect.
Regardless of which elements of play we incorporate into sessions, therapy does not necessarily have to be a verbal process but rather a chance to better understand what your child is thinking and feeling.
How long does child counseling take?
Every child is different, and their needs will vary from session to session—there is no “one-size-fits-all” approach to treatment. Instead, we will collaborate to evaluate your child’s progress in therapy over time. Teamwork between caregivers and therapist affects the outcome and duration of treatment for your child.
As you begin to see changes in their behavior, attitude, and relationships, you will get more of a sense of how successful your child has been in applying the tools learned in therapy. And eventually, both you and your child will be in a place where you can feel confident to manage without having to continue weekly sessions.
Despite Setbacks, Your Child Can Thrive
If you’re concerned by your child’s behaviors, academic performance, or symptoms of anxiety and depression, I specialize in counseling children, adolescents, and teens.
To schedule a free, 15-minute consultation or to find out more about how I can help, please email me, call (201) 431-5170, or reach out via my contact page.